Updated July 2025
What is Discord and is it appropriate for my child?
Here are 5 FACTS every parent needs to know about Discord:
#1 What it is: A Communication Hub
Discord is a free voice, video, and text chat platform originally designed for gamers, but it has expanded far beyond that. Now, it’s a digital gathering place for communities of every kind: anime fandoms, crypto traders, AI chatbot lovers, online classrooms, and, of course, gamers.
Discord boasts that they are where you can “spend time with friends and build community.”
Teens use it to chat, share memes, vent, roleplay, and even create their own custom bots. Discord isn’t the easiest platform to navigate, so super tech-savvy teens who spend time on the platform are more likely to have programming skills/curiosity to build such bots.
It is accessible on desktops, web browsers, and mobile devices, essentially giving users 24/7 access to their digital world.
#2 Servers = “Digital Communities”
Discord servers are like mini social networks, each with its own rules, moderators (if any), bots, emojis, and sub-channels. Users can join hundreds of different servers in one day, hopping from a Roblox server to a mental health “vent” server, to an anime roleplay server.
Servers can be public (searchable by anyone) or private (invite-only), and many now include AI bots, auto-moderation, or NSFW (Not Safe For Work) content warnings. However, these tools are only as effective as the people running the server.
Because no parental approval is required for joining servers, teens on Discord can find an abundance of inappropriate content. The NSFW servers, for example, are “age-gated” but only requires one click to say they’re 18 years old.
#3 Direct Messaging
Like most communication apps, Discord allows private messaging between users, even if they’re not friends. It’s so important to note: there is no moderation of these DMs. None. Teens can receive unsolicited messages from strangers that include links, sexual content, explicit images, or dangerous ideologies.
This is where predators often find innocent victims to prey upon!
While Discord allows users to block DMs from non-friends and filter content, the default settings are wide open.
What can be shared in DMs includes: text, images, video, GIFs, emojis, external links, and invitations to private servers.
Discord now employs an AI-powered moderation system called AutoMod. However, this only moderates the servers that enable it.
In recent years, Discord has expanded its safety settings to offer a few ways to keep your account safer with DM settings. Naturally, we recommend the KEEP ME SAFE option to enable scanning of all messages and block DMs from server members unless they are a friend.
#4 Family Center: Transparency, Not Control
In 2023, Discord introduced the Family Center, a feature designed to link parents and teens, offering transparency into Discord usage. While this sounds promising and was likely established due to the significant public backlash over their predator problem, it’s not as helpful as it may seem.
First, the parent must have their own Discord account. The teen must then initiate the link between their own account and their parents’ account – which can be unlinked at any time by the teen. There is no PIN, passcode, or admin override to prevent this.
When linked, a parent can see:
- Servers their teen has joined
- Friends their teen has added
- Who they’ve messaged (names only, not the content of the message)
- Number of messages sent in the last 7 days
- A weekly email summary
What parents cannot see:
- Content of any message
- Media sent (GIFs, photos, links)
- Voice or video chat activity
- Server activity details (such as what channels were used)
Even for the family where the teen gladly and willingly links their account to the parents, for parents to learn the ins and outs of Discord (unless they already know) and follow their child’s trail on the platform is a part-time job. This is simply not practical, and Discord knows it.
#5 Parental Controls & Ratings
App Store: 12+
Google Play: T (Teen)
Discord: 13+
Brave Parenting: 18+
Perhaps the most concerning aspect of Discord is its open stage for predatory activity. In December of 2019, the New York Times reported in depth on how online chat apps (specifically Discord) are hunting grounds for sexual predators. In 2023, NBC News reported that predators were using Discord for sextortion and abductions. In 2025, the state of New Jersey filed a lawsuit against Discord for exposing children to graphic and sexual abuse content.
We know that where there are kids and private communication tools, there are predators. This reality makes Discord an easy “No” for parents, especially at younger ages.
Even if an older teen has a solid foundation of character, isn’t prone to obsessive online media consumption, and has a biblical worldview, Brave Parenting would still not recommend Discord for those under 18 years old because the platform fundamentally alters the purposes for which God created us: relationships, discipleship, and truth.
We were created to be in relationships.
Discord promotes itself as a place to hang out with friends and build community. Except this is a disembodied, virtual community that can never fulfill the “One Another” commands given to us in Scripture. Deep and meaningful relationships that bring happiness and fulfillment are face-to-face, with presence and accountability. Avatars and anonymous user names are not the building blocks for fellowship.
We were created for discipleship.
Discipleship is the training, teaching, and learning that occurs between parent/child, teacher/student, mentor/mentee, and friend/friend. Every person is discipled into one culture, belief system, or worldview in one way or another. As image-bearers of God (Gen 1:27) and as believers in Christ, Christian discipleship must align with Scripture and aim to renounce all ungodliness and worldly passions. Discord disciples users through constant connection, reinforced unbiblical ideas, and repeated exposure to the celebration of sin.
We were created for truth.
God created to live in reality – bound by time and space and His unchanging Word. Truth is reality. It is not virtual, not augmented, and not artificially intelligent. Discord saturates users in a world where the false, the fabricated, and the flesh are given full rein. There is almost no accountability for what truth or evil.
For these reasons, we strongly urge parents to delay access to Discord until their children are adults. By 18, they may either lose the desire for the platform or have developed enough character strength, self-control, and spiritual maturity not to be deceived by predators or content.
While you delay access, shepherd your child toward real-life relationships, intentional discipleship, and the biblical truth. This may not be the way of the world, but it is the way of God (Deut 6:5-7).
Only then will they be able to engage with the digital world without being descipled by it.
